


i wanna kiss you on the lips

by softelmax



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: (in later chapters), El still has powers, F/F, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Neil is an asshole, Period-Typical Homophobia, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, also some angst, because i am physically incapable of simply writing a fluffy one shot, elmax - Freeform, hopper is dead but el stayed with joyce in hawkins, i’ll add all applicable trigger warnings in the notes, mileven stayed broken up, mostly canon, they’re like 16 here, tw abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-10 15:58:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19908355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softelmax/pseuds/softelmax
Summary: Max and El have been inseparable since that day in the mall, their relationship blossoms and they soon find themselves dealing with much more than a shadow monster:  homophobia, neil’s assholery, and the hate a bigotry that had been drilled in Max’s head from childhood.





	1. eternal flame

**Author's Note:**

> TW: abuse mention, homophobia, and internalized homophobia.  
> no beta. all mistakes are mine 
> 
> also i know the song eternal flame came out in 1988 but we’re not going to talk about that because it’s one of my favorite songs and i’m pretending it came out in ‘86. if y’all have been reading my work for a while than you’d know this seems familiar, in october i wrote a one shot with the same basic summery to this one (elmax kissing at a dance with this song) but it was cringey and awful and i hated it so i deleted it and this is a rewrite

Max looks into the mirror. Both hands on the vanity. She has been trying to tried to do something with her unmanageable, long, wavy hair for the

last half hour. First she braids it, but that makes her look like a second greader. Then she twists the braid in a bun. Now she looks like a stern librarian. She sighs. Why does she even care? She cared way less when she was going to the snowball with her not ex boyfriend. But now that she’s going to the Hawkins high prom as friends with El....her stomach won’t stop flipping around and her hair won’t let behave. She eventually settles on just leaving her hair be and praying that El can help her sort it out.

Her eyes drift to the clock. “oh no. oh no no no, shit”

It’s 6:45. She agreed to be at the Byer’s at 7 so they can get dressed. It’s a 20 minute skate and El is VERY punctual. She grabs her dress and unceremoniously stuffs it into her backpack. She grabs her skate board and jumps out of the backyard window.

She arrives at 6:59, breathless with messy hair, but on time. She knocks on the byer’s door and almost immediately it swings open, El stands on the front steps, grinning. “Hey! Come inside!” she says and she grabs Max’s hand and yanks her though the door. She lets go once they reach her bedroom door. Max can still feel sparks of electricity where their had hands touched. 

“Here let me fix your hair, I love you but it’s a mess.”

“Making the inside match the outside” Max replies, half to El and half to herself.

El grabs a brush off of her desk and gets somespray conditioner out of the drawer. She spritzes her hair, avoiding her eyes and gently lifting her hair to get the underneath. after that she sets the bottle on the desk andsits down on the bed. She pats the spot next to her.

Max ungracefully sits down and tries to steady her heart rate as El leans in and starts to pull pieces of hair into the correct spots, her brow furrowed in concentration. She uses her fingers and parts her hair to the side and starts to brush roughly in the same style as Max always wore it, only neater and with more care. El tries to grab a piece of hair to section it but accidentally yanks it harder than intended. To her absolute horror, Max automatically sighs deeply. it could’ve also be interpreted as a moan.

 ** _god damn it you kinky ass bitch_** she screams at herself internally.

Thankfully, poor innocent El assumes it was a noise of pain. “Oh no are you alright? Sorry I thought the strand was longer!” She exclaims, trying to smooth out her hair as it checking for injuries.

Max prays her face isn’t beet red and tries to sound nonchalant

“Oh it’s totally fine, you’re way more gentle than I usuallyam, I rake the hairbrush though my hair and hope I still have a decent amount after”

She laughs softly

“Maybe I can start doing your hair in the mornings. That doesn’t sound comfortable and you’re bound to run out of hair eventually”. she says as she continues to delicately untangle her hair.

Once that’s done and she’s makes sure every strands is in the correct place, she sets down the brush and leaps up.

“Okay! let’s get changed!” She practically yells as she bounces around the room.

She opens the closet and takes out her dress. Max stands and much less bouncily zips open her backpack, taking her slightly wrinkled dress out of the bag. She turns around and starts to say “Would you like me to change in the bathroom?” but all she got out was “would,,um..” because right before, el turns around, completely naked except for her bra and underwear.

She feels her mouth go dry and her gaze lingers slightly longer than it should before she quickly glues her eyes to the floor. A white hot rush of shame overcomes her for looking for too long.

“Yes, Max?”

She mumbles something that vaguely sounds like “restroom” and rushes out. She makes sure her eyes are closed as she turns to slip out the door. She walks to the bathroom, closes the door, and grips the sink. Trying to turn her face back to a normal color.

Her heart pounds “you should be ashamed of yourself” she quietly says to her reflection. El trusted her enough to change in front of her because they’re _friends_. and what did Max do? Stare like a disgusting pervert.

“El deserves someone better and not a fucking predator.”She thinks

She sighs and peels off her shirt, slightly flinching due to a broken rib that never quite healed and the fresh bruises on her rib cage.

Neil missed his favorite punching bag.

she ungracefully takes her jeans off and grabs her dress off the counter. For a second she strokes the soft fabric. She didn’t particularly want to wear a dress but her mother and El insisted she get it when they were at the mall dress shopping. She didn’t argue at the time because she knew that if she expressed that she wanted a suit, her mother would report it back to Neil who would in turn try to beat “the gay” out of her. She sighs and slides the dress on over her head, trying her best to not ruin her hair and the ghost of El’s touch that still lingered.

She shakes her head to free her hair from the straps, and looks at herself. The dress gave her curves and fit well over her stick like frame. It was a black spaghetti strap dress that has a full skirt and a v neck. She twirls and almost laughs to herself at her dress fanning out. The skirt was slightly fun.

She steps out of the bathroom and gently knocks on El’s door

“You descent?”

“what?”

“are you dressed?”

“yeah”’

She opens the door and nearly gasps. El is wearing a knee length pink lacy dress with two thick straps crossed on her shoulders. The neckline slightly dips into her chest.

she pulls the skirt out on both sides in a partial curtsy and gives a worried smile. “Does this look okay? Is it over the top?”

“It’s prom, everything’s over the top,,, you look really really pretty”.

the last part comes out fast so it almost sounds like a single word.

She grins “thank you. you look really pretty too”

Max blushes, hoping that it doesn’t look too obvious.

“what time is it?”

El turns and picks up her watch from the desk

she squints at it for a second before stuttering out “It’sseven-five-oh”

“Fuckk, we’re running late. it starts at 8:20”

“Fuck” she echos.

Hearing El swear was almost comical, like a toddler who somehow picked up a word they’d heard a sibling say.

The girls rush through their makeup and finish right before Joyce knocks on the door and pokes her head in “hey guys, will says it’s almost time to leave, are you ready?” 

they nod and grab their purses (or ratty backpack in Max’s case) And follow her to the car.

The drive over is peaceful, the two girls in a comfortable silence while Joyce and Will chat. Max’s hand lays flat on the seat in between them. She stares out the window, lost in thought, when she feels a warm soft hand intertwining with hers. El tilts her head like a confused puppy and gives a nervous smile. Max doesn’t make any kind of objection and El goes back to her previous looking out the window. It was almost impossible to tell in the dim car, but Max could’ve sworn she saw a blush creep up the brunettes ears and cheeks. They stay like that in limbo the rest of the way there. Neither wanting to separate but also not wanting to do anything further.

They quickly let go as Joyce parks upfront. 

“Now, be home by 12, don’t try and walk home and for goodness sake, call me if you decide to get a ride home from someone else. If you have to drink, do it safely, and please sweetie make sure you have a cond-“

“MOM” Will yells, absolutely horrified. 

She raises an eyebrow. “Just reminding you. And girls: that all applies to you too. and don’t go anywhere by yourself with any guys you don’t 100% trust” 

Max tried not to let the look of disgust show. She wouldn’t be caught dead with another guy.

Joyce turns to look at all of them.

“You all look so grown up, have fun you guys” She says, tearfully.

They jump out of the car and wave goodbye to her. El links her arm onto Max’s and they head over to the entrance. Music is already blaring and a bored older kid hands them their tickets back and waves them though. his eyes are slightly glazed over and his “water” bottle smelled very suspicious. Max didn’t doubt that they could’ve given him a dnd card and he still would’ve waved them though. 

“I’m going to find the rest of the party” Will yells over the music

“okay!” el shouts back.

they wander aimlessly through the crowd, at one point they’re almost separated by a heard of jocks and El clasps her hand onto Max’s yet again. Shs doesn’t let go until they get to a clearer spot over by the bleachers. All at once El drops her hand and yanks up the straps on her dress, making sure only a sliver of skin shows from her chest. Max gives her a curious look and El stares at a point in the distance. Her face stone hard and unreadable. 

“Is-is everything okay?” she tries

“yeah..why wouldn’t it be?”

“i don’t know, you just seem kind of distant and upset. you were so excited since you bought the tickets a month ago ” 

The younger girl purses her lips and fiddles with a loose string on the hem of her dress.

“Do you think i’m gross?”

“WHAT? no of course not! El why do you say that?”

she averts eye contact.“just...earlier when i was changing, you looked away and left the room quickly. And when I tried to hold your hand you made a face, and when I brushed your hair you looked angry. Did I do something wrong?”

Once agin Max’s body flushes with shame. This time, for a different reason 

“El I am not angry or grossed out.... I’m.. I was just worried you’d think I was creepy or predatory?”

Her sentences turned up like questions

it was El’s turn to look confused.

“why would you seem predatory? we change together all the time”

Max’s legs itched to run away and escape the situation.

“I’m,,, gay. El. I like girls.”

She didn’t seem phased

“So? what does that have to do with it?”

Max sighs, sometimes she wished that El understood social stuff like this.

“Just...some people think it’s gross. And some people think that all gays want to do is to date their friends” 

She thinks about that for a second, biting her lip and swinging her legs like a toddler. She finally looks at Max and then looks down at her feet.

“Max?”

“Yeah?” 

“What if someone..a gay, wants to?“ 

“Wants to what?” 

“Wants to look and wants to date their best friend?” 

Max’s eyes widened as she realized what she was implying.

“Well,,, it depends on if they’re both gay and both like each other” 

She takes a deep breath. 

“What if,,,one best friend liked her other best friend who she knows is gay”

“Then....she should ask her to dance at prom.” 

El giggles and holds out her hand. 

“Maxine Mayfield. I’m a gay and you’re a gay. Would you like to dance?” 

She laughs and blushes.

“Of course m’lady” she says, while curtsying but not very well

“you’re a dork” El says 

“no you”

She drags her to the dance floor “Wait this isn’t really dancing music” Max says . and she is right. It was an awful rap Song everyone was raving about. 

El smirked and closed her eyes for a second. The song shut down and for a count of five, there there was just static. But as soon as it stopped, a dreamy slow song came on instead. There were a few complaints from the students of hawkins high, but mostly everyone scrambled to find their partner and start an awkward slow dance.

 _close_ _your_ _eyes_ , _give me your hand, darlin do you feel my heart beating do you understand..._

the song blared on the loud speakers and Max looked into El’s eyes. El looked around and then leaned in

“Um.. Max?”

“yeah?”

“i...don’t know how to dance”

She almost laughed before she saw how panicked she looked.

“okay so first you put your hands linked around your partners neck.” 

She did and even at arms length, Max’s head spun at the scent of El’s cherry and vanilla scented perfume. 

“here come a little closer, you’re gonna choke me” 

“El inched forward until their chests very nearly touched. She tried to keep a straight face as she feels El’s breathing on her. 

“Um now I put my hands on your waist like this” she demonstrated

“and now we just sway side to side like this”

As they swayed and made their way around the dance floor, El stumbled on her heels and her entire body was pressed up against Max’s. She almost fainted from the joy and excitement. It was way too much, but in a good way. 

_with me do you feel the same? am i only dreaming or is this burning an eternal flame?_

The song was coming to an end and Max couldn’t get her emotions under control as she gathered all her courage.

_say my name sun shines though the rain a whole life so lonely and then you coma and ease the pain, i don’t wanna lose this feeling ohhh_

At the last lyric, Max slowly leans in. She pauses a couple of inches from El’s lips, silently asking for permission. El responds by lunging forward and pressing their lips together. The kiss is fairly long and tastes of cherry lip gloss. Her hands travel from El’s hips to her soft hair. 

They stay like that for a while, and for the first time in a long time, Max felt at peace, she felt safe, and she felt happy. She didn’t worry about Neil or about people seeing them, for that moment, the only thing that mattered was her and El. Alone in that moment together.


	2. apologies and cherry lipgloss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more of a filler chapter. next week’s will be better.  
> this week i’ve been in a lot of pain and feeling kind of tired and unmotivated so that’s why this chapter sucks.  
> -clara

Max was an expert on denial and apathy. It was a staple of life if you lived with the Hargrove men. Which is why actively pretends that her alarm clock didn’t go off 5 minutes ago, Neil and Susan weren’t taking turns screaming at her through the door, and she didn’t kiss her best friend the previous friday. She had spent the entire weekend going through the 5 stages of grief.  
Denial: “That didn’t happen. i’m making this all up. We didn’t kiss, I didn’t even go to the dance, and she most certainly did not taste of strawberries.” 

Anger: “I can’t believe i did that, i’m so fucking stupid, now she hates me.”

Bargaining: “If I don’t go to school or talk to anyone ever again, get perfect scores with homeschooling and then move to a college in another country maybe I won’t have to deal with this”

depression: “Well. way to go, Mayfield. You fucked up your relationship with your one and only close friend, and probably scared poor innocent El. No point in going on now”

Acceptance: “I am in love with my best friend. I kissed her. I have no idea how she felt about it. My life is over but it’s FINE.”

She lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Not bothering to get up and get ready yet, attempting to make this day start as late as her family would allow. 

“Max, I’m not kidding. I am going to physically drag you to the car. We cannot be late or dad is going to kill both of us!”  
her mother yells though the door, exasperated. 

“He’s not my dad”  
Max mumbles just loud enough to be heard as she sits up, anticipating that Susan would break down the door if she didn’t get out there in less than 5 minutes.  
She walks over to the mirror, almost 48 hours after the last time she was feeling a sense of dread getting ready for something. She combs her fingers through her messy curly hair, gives up, and starts searching the cluttered room for a hairbrush. She scores one under a pile of clothes. She slowly brushes out the tangles, painfully aware that the last time anything was done with her hair, was when Jane tenderly styled it. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel her light touch stroking her face and hair 

She hardly ever wore makeup but she takes one long look in the mirror. “You my friend, look like an absolute wreck.” She says out loud. Her reflection did not argue.  
As fast as humanly possible and probably setting some kind of world record, she applies messy foundation to her skin, taking great care of covering up her puffy eyes and bags from crying the night before.  
She savagely tears though piles of clothes, clean and dirty, for something to wear. She eventually settles on baggy jeans, a tucked in band shirt from a band she didn’t even like anymore, and an open red flannel. she swings open her bedroom door and noiselessly slips out the front door, just in time to jump into her mother’s car without being (very) late. 

The sense of dread creeps through her stomach as if she had swallowed frozen lead and it was settling inside her.  
Her mom attempted to  
make friendly conversation as they drove but Max gave short one worded replies until she got the message that her daughter was not in a talking mood. 

Her mom pulls up into the hawkin’s high parking lot. “Have a great day sweetie. remember i’ll pick you up at 3:30”  
“thanks mom, love you” she says absently as she gets her skateboard and backpack from the front seat. Her mom pulls out, leaving her alone with her thoughts.  
She drops her skateboard onto the pavement and skates across the parking lot, taking great care to not get hit by the asshole seniors pulling in late and hungover.

She skates over to the stairs, picks her board up and walks up the stairs, each step feels like another 50 pound weight is added to her backpack. 

She slowly opens the door but before she can step through, she feels a hand catch her shoulder. She can’t help it. She flinches away and take a few hurried steps backwards, almost slamming into the stair rail.  
She whips around with her arm up to protect her face.  
“Max... are you okay?? what happened??”  
“Nothing.”  
El raises an eyebrow.  
“Really, it’s nothing, I’m just jumpy today. I don’t know why”  
she knows damn well why and she knows El probably does too. 

“I just,,, I feel like we need to talk-” 

Oh lord, this is the part where she tells me that we’re no longer friends

“-about friday.“

Max loses all strength and courage she had prepared. She’s not ready. The bell rings out, it’s shrill and hurts her ears from where she’s standing, but Max never heard anything so beautiful. In that moment she truly understands the phrase “saved by the bell”.

“Shit that’s the bell,I can’t get another tardy. I gotta go. see you in history and science” she says, 

and without another word of goodbye, She walks/runs as fast as she can trying her absolute best to get the look of hurt on El’s face out of her head. 

The rest of the day passes fairly uneventfully except for the guilt eating a hole in her stomach like acid. She finishes all her classes except for science, which was her last one and the one she shared with El.  
She dreaded being in an enclosed room sitting right next to her. She dreaded her eyes wandering, and finding El’s perfect profile. She dreaded watching the way the sunlight shined on her curls, she dreaded that El would smell like strawberries or cherries or cupcakes, or whatever lipgloss she’d been experimenting with. 

She hesitantly pushes open the door to Mr. Clark’s class, accidentally-on purpose late so she wouldnt have to have small talk with El while waiting for class to start. She slides in the chair next to her. El makes eye contact and gives her a small unsure smile and Max’s shoe laces become the most interesting objects in the world.  
She plays with her hair and scribbles on a piece of notebook paper for an excruciating 60 minutes, not taking in anything Mr Clark was saying. Class passed by so slowly that Max was seriously starting to think that the clock in the corner is broken just as the bell rings again. She stands and drags her feet to the door, not even bothering to write down the homework.  
She makes it about halfway down the half way, halfway to freedom, before she feels a sharp grip on her shoulder again. She turns, expecting it this time, and finds herself face to face with El, who looks extremely pissed off, seething with hurt and anger. 

“Look. this ends now. I- I thought we were...okay. We need to talk and I’m not letting go of you until I know you’re not going to run away again like a toddler. ” 

El’s voice was filled with emotion and she started stumbling on her words and pausing at random moments. El absolutely hated it and thought it made her sounds dumb, but Max always found it adorable. She spins on her heels pulls her down the hall in the opposite direction. She isn’t quite sure where she’s being led. they pass the teachers room, a row of lockers, the administrators office. They finally turn a corner and El throws most of her tiny body weight into the heavy glass door and it swings open.  
Still holding her hand as if she’s concerned Max will make a run for it, El walks her down the steps 

“Um. El i’m not sure we’re allowed off school property” 

“we’re not going off school property” she says simply. 

She swings around the corner and stops. There’s a small clearing behind the school. In it is a little house. it’s lopsided with uneven screws and wood glue but it’s standing and looks almost exactly like a treehouse except it’s on the ground.  
El ducks into it. Max steps inside and is surprised. It’s fairly roomy, about the size of a small storage shed. El is waiting, sitting crosslegged on the beat up powder blue couch, that looks like it lost a fight with a chainsaw or a mountain lion.  
Losing her earlier bravery, El looks down at her black skirt, picking at a piece of ripped fabric from the couch. 

“I was having a bad day a while back and Will brought me here. He said that Steve and a few others built it for their end of the year project when they were sophomores. Mostly everyone who knew about it graduated so it’s private here.” 

Max awkwardly shuffles towards her and sits on the couch on the opposite end of El  
She leans back onto the couch and stares up at the ceiling. Attempting to find the right words. She sits up. being absolutely sure to make eye contact.  
El’s chocolate brown eyes bore into hers and against her will her eyes flick down, staring at El’s hands that are neatly folded in her lap. 

“Max you can’t keep avoiding it. we need to talk” 

El encourages, Max nods and continues to stare at the chipped pink nail polish.

“.....I know”

“Look, i’m so so sorry if i did anything wrong or was pushy or pushed you away? you have ever right to hate me.”  
Max’s eyes widen in horror and fear.  
“NO! No El it’s nothing like that. You were fine. You were..perfect. It’s me who’s the coward. I,,, I couldn’t handle the thought of everyone knowing. and a part of me....couldn’t handle that I’m different. so I ignored you. i’m truly sorry.” 

El’s mouth curls up in an awkward smile.  
“I prefer it. You know. That you’re different. And... I don’t know if you feel the same thing I do, but I like you. I mean really really like you. more than I’ve liked anyone. Even Mike.”  
She was almost certain  
that her face turned as red 

“I.... really like you too” 

“Um. I don’t really see why we have to wait. if you’re concerned about anyone knowing...we don’t have to tell. we’ll be sneaky. like ninjas” 

she holds back a laugh. whether or not that last part is a joke, Max couldn’t tell but it was exactly what they needed to clear the tension.  
“I like that idea. A lot.”  
“Well then. What are you waiting for?”  
“Huh?”  
“Kiss me.”  
And so she did. As soon as her lips touch El’s, an explosion of sparks dance around their heads. The taste and smell of her cherry lipgloss made her head spin.This kiss is more urgent than at the dance, and more intensity as they’re away from watchful eyes. Their lips stay partially parted, no one willing to make the next move, not yet. a half formed sluggish thought forms in Max’s head. she wishes that things could stay like this forever, sitting on a nasty couch, in a storage shed, kissing her best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> i really like this chapter. i’m planning on making a couple more chapters that focus on the beginning stages of their relationship, Max’s home life, coming out, and facing the homophobia of indiana in the 80s. as always, reviews and kudos are very much appreciated. -Clara ~awkwardtimelady on tumblr~


End file.
